Monsters
She asks to sleep with me Because she is scared of the dark And the monsters she imagines I hold her close Breathe in the smell of her hair And silently promise she’ll never know That I see monsters too And that I’m more scared than she is
Category: domestic abuse
One year on
It’s been a year since my daughter last saw her father. A year in which I’ve faced him in court too many times. A year in which I’ve also faced her questions, confusion and fear about his absence. It hasn’t been an easy year for either of us. But I’ve tried so hard to make […]
3am
The nightmares come when I’m happy Fear and stress bring blackout bliss Hope and optimism, technicolour terror This is the trade off I must make The path I must endure The fire I must walk through to be free
Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are…
And though the nightmares should be over, some of the terrors are still intact. I’ll hear that ugly, coarse and violent voice, and then he grabs me from behind and he pulls me back. When you’ve been controlled and abused by another person, their voice becomes your inner monologue. They don’t need to lay on […]
Sure of Myself
The last time we spoke, you told me you were going to kill me. That I’d meet the “real” you. I asked you to stop. Told you I was scared. You told me I should be. That you were going to murder me, and that I should be scared. I hid. Took protective measures. Sought […]
No
No became a word I couldn’t use with you When you asked me to change my perfume as you didn’t like the smell Seemed reasonable When facilitating your life became my responsibility I didn’t refuse When you convinced me my friends weren’t my friends I reluctantly acquiesced When you mocked my choices, and made me […]
My elephant
I spent approximately five years in a toxic, abusive relationship. I didn’t really understand that what I’d been through constituted domestic violence until a police officer literally spelled it out for me. Writing became my therapy for myself, both when the end of the relationship was fresh, in the period of uncertainty that followed, and […]
Unconditional Unschooling 