My daughter’s desire for independence has surged over the past few weeks. Suddenly she wants to dress herself (and gets frustrated if I dare to so much as set foot in the same room as her while she’s putting her socks on, in case I try to help!). She’s more interested in the things I’m doing around the house and always asks to help. She likes to choose her own fruit from the bowl (then choose the correct bin for her rubbish), and turn the tv on and off herself. She asks to watch me get dressed, and asks to touch / smell if I use any creams / products.

This is lovely in many ways, but is presenting its own challenges. How many times can your child run in, with their arm out the neck hole of their top, telling you they’ve done it wrong, before you step in and help?! (Five proves to be my limit!!) Getting ready in the morning is now a bit of an unknown quantity, as I have no idea if she’ll want to undress / dress herself, and how long this will take. So we’re never on time these days, either early or late depending on how much she has wanted to do herself, how quickly she has been successful, how soon she has asked for help, and how much help she will allow. It’s frustrating, to say the least, but the joy and pride on her face, when she achieves something is priceless.

I’m constantly hearing “I’m learning, mum” when she is trying to do something new. I love that she recognises that even when she doesn’t succeed, she is learning. She will say it as she is trying, and then will say it all proudly if she is successful. If she is not successful, she puts it down to “still learning”.

I bought new cereal containers last week to help foster this independence, and because trying to pour cereal from a bag in a box is about the least child friendly task anyone could invent! On the first morning with the new containers, she managed to miss her bowl, but she wasn’t discouraged, especially because I was taken by surprise by the faster pour myself and got cereal all over the table too. The following breakfast was far more successful for both of us, and she looked at me and said “Well done mum, you’re learning too, we’re both learning.”

I was struck by the fact that she saw my own failure and subsequent success, and recognised my capacity for learning too. It was such a small moment, but felt huge for me, because it showed me that it’s ok to get it wrong and it’s ok not to know the answers. Deciding not to send her to school did fill me with a little trepidation about what I would do when her interests extended past the scope of my knowledge. We’ll learn together. I’ll share what I know, and together we’ll discover the things I don’t.

In more practical terms, I’m delighted to be able to delegate the drying of dishes to my new, super willing assistant! She can also confidently sort the laundry (blacks, whites & rainbow!), and load the machine. Her laundry hanging technique still needs work though, so I can’t put my feet up just yet.